I’ve been working lately on an amaaaaazing sculpture that I’m so psyched about it! It’s a 6 foot needle. What am I going to do with it, you ask? Well…it goes with the very large spool of thread I’m making! Hee. That’s always my answer when people ask me that question. It never gets old.
In order to make my 6 foot needle (which was a whole story of letting go and allowing within itself that I may share at some point), I needed to procure an 8 foot 4x4 post made of Fir wood. Searched high and low for a few weeks and ended up finding a lumber yard in Charlotte that carries them, so after a few mishaps, I set out on a cold, rainy, dreary Wednesday a few weeks ago in our truck to get it. I was finally going to get my needle!
Now this is a TRUE lumber yard, meaning mostly construction people there, not too many little ladies, and I was all gussied up in a pair of my leggings and a nice top to meet some friends later. Keep that in mind for later.
When I drove up to this lumber yard, the parking lot was completely full!!!! I mean…hundreds of cars. I had to park waaaaaay far away from any entrance. Not only that, I didn’t know what entrance to go to! I called the yard to see where I should go and if I could talk to someone to try to expedite the process and the receptionist immediately put me through to someone who worked there and I got…voicemail. Called back and she again put me through to someone else…guess what? Yup. Voicemail. This continued 3 more times. I’d been on the phone earlier that morning with my bank trying to work out some discrepancies and was already frustrated and after this ridiculousness, I was just about in tears. I hung up after that third time and a grizzly guy with a beard down to his belly button had walked up to his truck across from mine and we exchanged a funny glance…I think he was puzzled and probably thinking “what the hickety heck is that little lady doing here?” and mine was a slow realization that I might be able to ask him some questions about how this whole thing works!
I popped my head out of the car and said hi and asked him how it works, he told me where to go and said that he’d been there waiting for 45 minutes for his ticket to get fulfilled! And he said that he had NEVER seen it this crowded before. Well. I had apparently picked the wrong day. And I was just about to POP, I was so frustrated.
So I had a little hissy fit. Right there in the car. Yes, I waited until my grizzly friend left, but man, did I let loose after that. It felt soooooo good. I yelled a little bit and thrashed around a little bit and then I felt better. And then I just yelled to the Universe, “Okay! I give up!!!!” And I did. I gave up completely and left to meet my friends.
After lovely hanging out/business meetings with my lovely peeps (I love it when it can be both!), I felt even MORE better (yes, that’s what I said) and had the thought of, “well, the lumber yard is only 10 minutes away, I’ll go and see what it looks like now.”
Parking space - right in front of the entrance. Customer service - guy open with no one in line. Ordered it right away. Then a nice man took me into the warehouse and we chose the PERFECT piece of wood for the needle. It is *gorgeous. Perfect grain, no knots. I wasn’t positive about what I was looking for, but this guy knew what would be best and once he started pointing things out to me about the grain and compression and knots, I got it. He grabbed that perfect one for me, I pulled around and nestled safely in the truck bed. The whole process took about 15 minutes.
I was running HIGH resistance that morning when I tried the first time. The best thing to do WAS to Give Up. It was too hard. There were too many roadblocks. When it’s that difficult, I know that I’m not lined up and that I need to give myself some time and feel it out and try again another time. And it will be easier.
And it was!
Oftentimes we think we need to try to push through things. Most of the time if we just take a step back, hand it over to Universe, and get out of the way, things will line up and go much more smoothly when we come back to them. I run into this over and over again with my artwork, with my music, with my…everything! With any problem that comes up, really. When I soften around it and allow myself to feel the feelings (like I did when I had my little fit in the truck) and then let it all go, inevitably, the answer shows up. Sometimes it might take awhile and that’s okay too.
Give it a shot. I think you’re gonna like it:)
Here’s the first incarnation of the needle. I’ll post the full sculpture (with the spool…going outside right now to work on it!) when it’s done.